Today has been a very hard day for me and it has got me thinking alot about what real parenting is. It is something that I see is seriously missing in my neighborhood: kids out riding bikes in the street or crossing streets with nobody watching them, kids out at night, kids or teens out in public disrespecting their elders (yes, that includes me even though I am only 22) and/or children who are no older than 10 but weigh too much. There are so many violations that I can go into right now but these are the problems I can think of right now.
I was always a person who thought I became who I was because of the great parents I had. Today I saw more than ever just how wrong I was. I am a special exception to the “good child” rule. My parents are the kind of people who are good on paper. They worked hard and always made sure my needs were met and sometimes my wants. They were not ever together and they battled all the time. My dad was very abusive, physically and verbally, and my mother was the same,just in a different way verbally. I was never ever told that something was wrong until I did wrong and was punished for it. I was a pretty good child, I did good in school , not because I was told that it was the right thing from my parents but because I LOVED the feeling I got from teacher compliments, rewards and seeing good grades. I remember the first time I got a bad grade in 3rd grade. I got in a lot of trouble not because my mother told me bad grades were wrong but because I never had one before and so I established a norm and then I broke it. I pretty much raised myself into who I am.
Well maybe I should be truly honest. My parents made sure I was not homeless and that I knew how to be a cold not loving woman, also that I know the importance of lying to get myself out of trouble. My dad taught me how to be ruthless person and do it at the expense of others and their happiness.These are all the things that I hate about myself. The one good thing I learned from my father was Black Pride, I think. He never wanted me to own white barbies or dolls, not that it really mattered because I did not like dolls period. Well I guess he was a true failure. My mother taught me to never have kids before you are ready, I learned this because she did and we hate each other. I hope when I do have children I have the strength to be a better mother than she was to me. My parents were good providers but anyone can provide, not everyone can parent. It is unfortunate that they both have produced another child with other people (both sons). In my opinion the other parent in both of those situations is a real parent but maybe their children feel differently, I doubt it though.
People have to understand that your word is like Gold to your child. They believe everything you say, all you have to do is tell then all the right things. Kat Williams said it best, you cannot beat your children because they like skittles. You have to teach them how to be good people. That means instilling in them the value of hard work, that starts with school. Being smart and a hardworker will take you very far. It is not okay for a child to roam the streets alone or with other young children because our streets are NO LONGER SAFE. People are all stuck on a me against the world mentality and so many YOUNG BLACK PEOPLE ARE DYING. This shit is breaking my heart. We have got to do better BLACK PEOPLE.
It is a well known fact that most people (read:white people) do not care about us (read:black people) and want or expect for us all to fail. We are making that more and more possible with every passing generation. When I walk outside my house I do not see kids who will grow up into productive adults, I see kids who enjoy being BAD ASS ALL HELL but not enjoying childhood. I have heard them say so many disrespectful things to me and others. I want to know where they get it from. I was a child that many would have considered bad because I talked back to adults who I thought were not acting how they should be or those who thought they could talk down to me like I was stupid just because I was shorter and their mamas popped them out of her cootch before mine did. But, like I said I raised myself, there was definetly a method to my madness. I do not get the same vibe from todays youth.
I really do not want to hear any more stories of children finding guns at home or getting access to guns when they are to young to understand the importance or effect of that weapon. I do not want to hear any more stories of a child getting hit by a stray bullet. I do not want to hear any more stories of children who can not read on their grade level. No more stories about a kid or teen not being able to enjoy their youth because they have to take on the role of a parent because a parent is missing and the one that is there has to work hard to make sure they all have a place to sleep at night (that was my high school life).
No more failing the youth in our communities. IT TAKES A VILLAGE TO RAISE A CHILD. WE HAVE ALL GOT TO STEP UP SO THINGS CAN BE BETTER. I am no fool and I know some people will never change and that is fine for them. We have to let them be them but we also have to instill knowledge into those that these deliquents will try to influence before it becomes to late for them also. I want to do my part by becoming an English teacher and a tutor at my school and in my neighborhood because I am fed the fuck up. WHAT WILL YOU DO?
Black fathers are missing and we need them back. Black youth are parents and we need them to be good students. Black mothers are the providers and cannot be a parent and we really need them back. Black children are dying and we need them to live. Young black men are in jail and we need them walking the streets being a positive person. Black women are missing husbands and we need to have more family structure and structured families in our communities. People are convincing our youth that being smart is not cool and we need to get rid of those people. Young black women do not know how to be good upstanding young ladies or women and we need to fix that. Too many of our youth are angry and we need to nurture them and take care of them and convince them (verbally and with our actions) that life can be special and worth living. IT TAKES A VILLAGE TO RAISE A CHILD. IT TAKES A VILLAGE TO RAISE A CHILD. IT TAKES A VILLAGE TO RAISE A CHILD. WAKE THE FUCK UP EVERYBODY. wHAT WILL YOU DO TO MAKE YOUR COMMUNITY BETTER? Because, IT TAKES A VILLAGE TO RAISE A CHILD.
